Friday, May 1, 2020

JAVIER’S STORY (II)

Javier used to say that one constant factor in his life was loss. Since he did not get along well with his mother, Javier searched for his father with whom he had lost contact. He did find him and went back to Buenos Aires to meet him.  

We tend to have a certain fondness for the flavors of our childhood. In Javier’s case it was a taste for bread. He was an expert taster and would place the bread in his hand to weigh the dough. He loved salami, cured ham and all sorts of sausages and charcuterie. He also liked medialunas and Mantecol. He liked pasta and pizza.

Sammy and Isabel (Afro) had been touring the world for ten years and they had their savings. She bought an apartment in Mar del Plata. Sammy had started a business and was happy to have his son back. Uncle Maury had gone to Brazil and lived there with his family. Uncle Jimmy and his wife Flora, lived also in Buenos Aires with their daughters Diana and Marisa. Javier had a very good relationship with his uncle and they wrote to each other all their lives. Jimmy was his favorite uncle!

Javier stayed for a while in Buenos Aires with his dad and Afro, but he had a girlfriend in Lima, and finally he decided to return. His father who thought he had recuperated his son for good, was very disappointed. He would not live long. They would not see each other again.

Back in Lima, Javier met a young girl. She was still in High School. She was very beautiful and sweet. He was asked to escort her to her prom. At the party all her friends asked her where she had found a James Dean lookalike.  Javier was very good-looking. Several years later they married in the chapel of La Salle School.

Javier’s mother was still young in her late thirties, and she migrated to California. She would write letters to him. Once he visited her, but they met downtown. She did not invite him to her house. Some years later she quit writing. Javier never found out what had happened to her, but she disappeared.

As to Sammy, he died the day Javier’s eldest daughter was born. He decided to stay with his wife and newborn instead of attending the funeral in Buenos Aires. He never heard of Afro again. That marriage did not last long. He left his wife before his daughter was a year old.

After divorcing his first wife Javier spent some years traveling in the U.S. and Central America. He then came back and opened a Café Theater. He also studied with Mr. Eisner, a French cinema expert who took him as his apprentice. He then went into advertising as director and producer. He made more than two thousand commercials. It is sad that someone so talented that worked with his eyes would become gradually blind.

There was a big earthquake in Lima in 1974. Javier was renting an apartment on a seventh floor. He had a bad time and moved out. He later married again and that marriage lasted some fourteen years. They had a daughter which they called Samantha, but her nickname was Sammy.

Javier married twice, but there were many women in his life.  He would often fall in love, start a relationship and later it would not work out.

When I met him in 1999, he had just finished an eight year relationship. He met me and I was his last relationship. When I was caring for him at the hospital, his first wife would come to visit. He was cared for by the first lady and the last!

The last twelve years of his life he was Buddhist and that helped him a lot. He took his recent blindness wisely and he was very resilient. Meeting his teacher was very important for him, and he became e very good and constant practitioner. He had a bond with lama Ole which helped him during his life and also during his death.

They say problems help in your growing process. Javier used to say he had had very bad temper and had been very demanding as a boss because he was a perfectionist. As he became blind in his mid-fifties, he had to be kinder and softer. His spiritual practice gave him a happiness he had never experienced.

The seven years he lived in the Diamond Way Center were productive years, where Javier gave a lot and received much appreciation. He was even given a trip to meet Karmapa in Karma Guen in Malaga. i am sure everyone who met him during those years remembers him with fondness. Buddhism taught him how to live and how to die.



LA HISTORIA DE JAVIER (II)


Javier solía decir que la pérdida había sido un factor constante en su vida. Como no se llevaba bien con su mamá, Javier buscó a su padre con el cual había perdido contacto. Lo encontró y regresó a Buenos Aires para verlo.

Tenemos cierto cariño a los sabores de la niñez. En el caso de Javier era el gusto por el pan. Era un catador experto y ponía el pan en la palma de su mano para pesar la masa. Le encantaba el salame, el jamón crudo y las salchichas y todo tipo de embutidos. También le gustaban las medialunas y el Mantecol, la pasta y la pizza.

Sammy e Isabel  (Afro) habían estado en una tour por el mundo por diez años y tenían sus ahorros. Ella compró un piso en Mar del Plata. Sammy había empezado un negocio y estaba feliz de tener a su hijo de regreso. El tío Maury se había ido al Brasil y vivía allá con su familia. El tío Jimmy y su esposa Flora vivían en Buenos Aires con sus hijas Diana y Marisa. Javier tenía una muy buena relación con su tío y se escribieron toda la vida. Jimmy era su tío favorito.

Javier se quedó por un tiempo con su padre y Afro, pero él había dejado una novia en Lima y finalmente decidió volver. El padre que pensó que había recuperado definitivamente a su hijo, estaba muy desilusionado. No viviría mucho. No se volverían a ver.

De regreso a Lima, Javier conoció a una jovencita. Estaba todavía en el colegio. Era muy dulce y bonita. Ella le pidió que fuera su pareja para el baile de promoción. En la fiesta todas sus amigas le preguntaron de dónde había sacado ese doble de James Dean. Javier era muy guapo. Algunos años después se casarían en la capilla del colegio La Salle.

La mamá de Javier era joven todavía, estaba a finales de los treinta años; y emigró a California. Ella le escribía cartas. Una vez él la fue a visitar, pero se encontraron en el centro. Ella no lo invitó a su casa. Algunos años después dejó de escribir. Javier nunca supo qué le pasó; pero ella desapareció.

En cuanto a Sammy, él murió un dos de mayo, el día que nació la hija mayor de Javier. El decidió quedarse con su esposa y la bebe en vez de ir al funeral en Buenos Aires. Nunca supo más de Afro ni la buscó. Su matrimonio no duró mucho. Dejó a su esposa antes que su hija tuviera un año.

Después de divorciarse de su primera esposa, Javier pasó algunos años viajando por Estados Unidos y Centroamérica. Luego regresó y abrió un Café Teatro. 

También estudió con Monsieur Eisner, un experto director de cine del cual fue aprendiz. Luego trabajó en publicidad como director y productor. Realizó más de dos mil comerciales. Fue una pena que alguien tan talentoso que trabajaba con su vista se  volviera gradualmente ciego por la glaucoma.

Hubo un terremoto en Lima en 1974. Javier alquilaba un departamento  en un  séptimo piso. Lo pasó muy mal y se tuvo que mudar. Después se volvió a casar y ese matrimonio duró unos catorce años. Tuvieron una hija a la cual llamaron Samantha, pero le dicen Sammy.

Javier se casó dos veces, pero hubieron muchas mujeres en su vida. Se enamoraba, empezaba una relación y luego no funcionaba. Cuando lo conocí en 1999, acababa de terminar una relación de ocho años. Me conoció y fui su última pareja. Cuando lo cuidaba en el hospital, su primera esposa venía a visitarlo. Lo cuidaba la primera mujer y la última.

Los últimos doce años de su vida fue budista y eso lo ayudó mucho. Tomó su reciente ceguera con sabiduría y resiliencia. Conocer a su maestro fue muy importante para él, y se convirtió en un buen y constante practicante. Tuvo una conexión con Lama Ole que lo ayudó durante su vida y durante su muerte.

Dicen que los problemas te ayudan a crecer. Javier decía que él había tenido mal carácter y había sido muy exigente como jefe porque era perfeccionista. Cuando se volvió ciego por los cincuenta y tantos, tuvo que volverse más suave y más amable. Su práctica espiritual le dio una felicidad que nunca antes había experimentado.